Hi Jerry,

Ok. I thought the issue had been re-activated.
Best regards,
Nicolas.

Jerald.P.Martocci <at> jci.com 02/10/2009 20:37

A Nicolas Riou/FR/Schneider <at> Europe cc adrian.farrel <at> huawei.com, Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr>, gen-art <at> ietf.org, pieter.demil <at> intec.ugent.be, wouter <at> vooruit.be Objet Re: RE review of draft-ietf-roll-building-routing-reqs-07.txt

Hi Nicolas,

I believe this comment has already been mitigated.  Peter was nice enough to review the draft quickly and noted HVAC, K-12 and Elevator as US centric terminology.  Adrian discussed this and I believe resolved the comment.

I have received some other comments in other areas of the draft that I will be working on with the commenters shortly.  If Francis has any other areas of concern, let me know and I will add them into the comment resolutions.

Thanks for the help.

Ciao,

Jerry

nicolas.riou <at> fr.schneider-electric.com 10/02/2009 12:13 PM

To Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr> cc adrian.farrel <at> huawei.com, Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr, gen-art <at> ietf.org, jerald.p.martocci <at> jci.com, pieter.demil <at> intec.ugent.be, wouter <at> vooruit.be Subject RE review of draft-ietf-roll-building-routing-reqs-07.txt

Hi Francis,

Can you precise a little bit more why you think draft 07 is USA centric? Mainly because of section 8.2 and section 9.1.2? other sections?

Regarding section 8.2, I don't fully understand your expectation... Do you expect a few words on LON / Echelon, ASHRAE... for instance?

Have a nice week-end & Best regards,
Nicolas

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr> Envoyé par : Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr 02/10/2009 10:45

A gen-art <at> ietf.org cc jerald.p.martocci <at> jci.com, Nicolas Riou/FR/Schneider <at> Europe, pieter.demil <at> intec.ugent.be, wouter <at> vooruit.be, adrian.farrel <at> huawei.com Objet review of draft-ietf-roll-building-routing-reqs-07.txt

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-roll-building-routing-reqs-07.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-09-29
IETF LC End Date: 2009-09-24
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues:
- IMHO the document is a bit USA centric (but it is not a problem
if it is stated in the document, for instance with a reference
from the (US) building automation community, cf 8.2 comment below)

Nits/editorial comments:
- the language of the document is not at the usual level (but at it
should be considered as better it is not a concern)
- 2 page 4, 5.1 and 5.1.1 page 12, 5.3 page 13, 5.4.1 and 5.4.2 page 14.
5.7.2 and 5.7.4 page 16, 5.7.7 page 17. 5.8.4 page 18, 9.2.1 page 20:
e.g. -> e.g.,
- 3.1 page 5: use the occasion to introduce the FMS abbrev, i.e.,
add "(MS)" after "facility management system"
- 4 page 10: the P in P2P (and MP2P / P2MP) is ambiguous:
it can stand for point and the point-to-point term usually
refers to link topology. I propose:
P2P -> (peer-to-peer, P2P)
(MP2P) -> (multi-peers-to-peer, MP2P)
(P2MP) -> (peer-to-multi-peers, P2MP)
- 4 page 10 and 5.4.3 page 14: acknowledgement -> acknowledgment
(for uniformity with the section title where this spelling is
enforced) (multiple occurrences)
- 5.1 page 11: no network knowledge -> no communication network knowledge
- 5.2.2 page 13: even it is also overloaded:
point-to-point -> end-to-end
- 5.4 page 14: i.e. -> i.e.,
- 5.4.3 page 14: 2000mah -> 2000mAh
- 5.7.6 page 17: msec -> ms
- 7 page 19: J. P. -> JP.
- 8.2 page 19: I'd really like to get a reference from the building
automation community: explaining networking to them or an introduction
for us (networking community) or both. I expect there are at least
some framework standards.
- 9.1.2 page 19: 2.4Ghz -> 2.4GHz
(BTW the ISM band text is very USA centric
- 9.3.1 page 20: missing final '.'
- Authors' Addresses page 22: unfinished (???), add +1 for USA phone
number, -- -> - (and BTW try to use the same separator)

Regards

Francis.Dupont <at> fdupont.fr

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